One of the hardest questions a life coach can ever give someone is to this question.
Because it is easy for us, but its not easy for them.
People do things. They get married or pregnant with kids early, and by the time they are 30 they are so run down they can't function anymore.
"I had kids, I got married. Now I am unhappy. What can I do about it?"
Well it depends on how happy you would be at leaving all this behind and starting over.
My sister originally wrote this article, and she told people to give up their kids, give up their marriage and start over.
Because if you don't, you won't be happy. You will keep sacrificing your own happiness for your kids, parents, husband or wife.
Adopt them out. Divorce your husband/wife. Start over. Move on, out and get in shape. DO YOU. Can you do it?
Really think about this question - can you give up your kids, divorce or take some time off from marriage?
There is a popular pin on pinterest:
But are you greedy for wanting this? It does not matter if we are or are not. This is about awakening; this is about being happier. This is about walking away from things we can't erase but can mend if we want too.
What if you move on and whoever adopts your kids (who you probably still care for) ends up killing them or they become abused? You can say it is destiny. You can try a half and half relationship with your children if not your husband or wife. Or you can make a clean break and surrender your rights (call your local dfacs office to speak with a caseworker)
Not every woman is a mother. You can birth someone, but never really connect with them. You husband or wife may be the sole caretaker, sometimes their mission is just come here, get born and move on to the next step on their journey. Not every woman wants too or needs to be a birth mare. We did not come here to go through the birth process. Men (not all men) - some men - are still stuck in the "I knocked her up and now she's constantly pregnant" mentality where they are some kind of hittite "stallion". This is not a real man, is tacky and you should support whom you like. Not because you are married, but because they are a compliment to your life. If you stay in a stuck, it no longer works for me pattern, you will always be unhappy.
Many people in a marriage or union with kids think they have to do things just like all families do and their parents did, with them. No. This is the first and worst mistake. You and your partner, get to choose now what you will do. How you will raise the kids, how to have a safe and comforting home with all in your surroundings. Most of the time we think "Our parents didn't do it right, how will I or we?" The answer is, break free from bad karma and family lines and figure what you both want for you and your kids. Most parents are still growing when they have kids, and they are gonna make mistakes, and most have done so poorly. If that is the case move on from your parents and raise your kids without causing emotional strain on you, your wife/husband and your kids and parents. Agree to meet in a central place for holidays, if you do them at all. Teach kids the value of the holidays, family, not gifts and a big meal.
